New Beginnings

a blog by bj draKe

New Beginnings


After my head injury, as cliched as it sounds, the world turned grey

The color and vibrancy was slowly sucked out of my life.

I was juggling too many cognitive obstacles and impairments at the same time.

I didn’t realize how far down the spiral of depression I was slipping.

Until I hit rock bottom and couldn’t get up.

And, the endgame of depression is suicide.

I tip-toed towards that edge after two years of feeling utterly useless in every area of life.

Then I jumped.

Two years of asking for help broke me.

I felt like a burden and felt that everyone’s life – my own included – would be easier if it ended.

So, I went for a walk with a bottle of pills, a pocket knife and a map to the nearest train crossing.

For an hour I listened to Nirvana and contemplated ending my life.

But, thankfully, no train came and eventually I kept walking.

The next day, my life was saved because I admitted to a doctor that I was suicidal.

“You’re being involuntarily admitted to the Abbotsford Hospital.”

Those words saved my life.

Changed my life.

Gave me a new outlook on life.

And, that’s where the next chapter begins…


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