New Beginnings

a blog by bj draKe

New Beginnings

gray

After my head injury, as cliched as it sounds, the world turned grey

The color and vibrancy was slowly sucked out of my life.

I was juggling too many cognitive obstacles and impairments at the same time.

I didn’t realize how far down the spiral of depression I was slipping.

Until I hit rock bottom and couldn’t get up.

And, the endgame of depression is suicide.

I tip-toed towards that edge after two years of feeling utterly useless in every area of life.

Then I jumped.

Two years of asking for help broke me.

I felt like a burden and felt that everyone’s life – my own included – would be easier if it ended.

So, I went for a walk with a bottle of pills, a pocket knife and a map to the nearest train crossing.

For an hour I listened to Nirvana and contemplated ending my life.

But, thankfully, no train came and eventually I kept walking.

The next day, my life was saved because I admitted to a doctor that I was suicidal.

“You’re being involuntarily admitted to the Abbotsford Hospital.”

Those words saved my life.

Changed my life.

Gave me a new outlook on life.

And, that’s where the next chapter begins…

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *