a blog by bj draKe


haunted church

I was forced to attend Sunday School at the only Lutheran Church in our town as a remedy from my sprouting pre-teen aggression and rebellion.  It was awful and I devoted myself to being a pain in the ass to the teachers and the congregation.  I would show up wearing my skull jacket every Sunday, making sure I’d forget a roach in the pocket while I’d blare “Antichrist Superstar” by Marilyn Manson through my discman headphones.

Like my dad said, “too bad that didn’t work.”

I somehow passed my Catechism -a oral test based on the memorization of the Ten Commandments, a few selected Bible verses and the Lord’s Prayer; none of which I remembered- and I was officially a member of the Lutheran Church.

I’ll be honest for the first time in my life; my rebellion within the walls of that church made me nervous.  I felt like I was fucking with something bigger than myself.  Something that I didn’t understand.  Something that might have a real consequence and not just a wooden ruler to the knuckles.

I was afraid, but committed to being banished from the church, eternally.

The truth is that I do believe in something, but I’ve never admitted it because it almost seems rationally irresponsible to my scientifically-driven ego to do so.

Atheism is fashionable to the intellect.

I believe that WE are a soul and each soul is the piece of something bigger; the godhead or GOD.  Therefore, we are all connected in the cosmic sense that we originated from the same place; Heaven.

Why we left Heaven was because each one of us transgressed against GOD in Heaven, so he banished us to the lowest of planes; Hell.

Thereafter, we spend as many lifetimes as it takes to make our journey back through each spiritual plane -there are seven and we are on the third in the physical- walking through hell to find our way back to the godhead/Heaven.

Each body/vessel that our soul occupies is used to gather experiences that’ll lead to a small piece of insight that we need to progress to the next spiritual plane and therefore, when we are reincarnated, we carry with us the experiences of all our past lives, so that we haven’t lost the formulas to the questions of the answers we need.

Before God banishes us to the depths of Hell, he gives us the opportunity to sign-up for all of the different sufferings we will experience on our journey.  All the heartbreak, sickness, death, etc.

I like to remember this; all the hardship and hurt that we experience in life our soul signed-up for, having faith that it could handle the pain.

As we collect experiences -especially from the insight of suffering- our soul manifests itself into new spiritual planes of existence until one day it’s again back in Heaven, reconnected with the godhead.

Therefore, I think life is -on this plane- learning through all the sensory inputs.

We have to learn what we’ve lost in Heaven before we’re able to return.


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