For nearly my entire life I haven’t been able to recollect a single detail from my dreams. As a dabbler is Jungian psychology, I’ve always been jealous of those who were able to deconstruct the symbolism of their unconscious mind. I felt as though I was missing out on something that – when studied – could change my life.
It wasn’t until I started taking medication – and getting a full night’s rest – that I could remember what happened while I was asleep.
Now I get to psychoanalyze myself…
Last night I had a dream that I was at a party with nearly everyone I’ve ever been friends with. I was walking around the room with my wife when someone announced that it was “time for the orgy!”
No one got naked, but everyone schmoozed each other.
My wife and I kept walking through the room when I overheard one friend say, “oh when (Bruce) is trying to impress someone, he tries to make them laugh.”
As the party continued, no one got naked and I found myself with my head wedged between two cinderblocks, unable to pull myself free.
Eventually I was unstuck and the dream ended with no orgy, or at least not the orgy I expected.
I opened my eyes and immediately thought that a dream of an orgy with no sex MUST represent sexual repression. It seemed obvious.
That hasty interpretation didn’t move me, so I dug a bit deeper.
Why was my head stuck in between two cinderblocks? Obviously, something is STUCK. My head – seemingly – could symbolize my mind, but why my head and not something more phallic in nature (if I’m sexually repressed)?
Maybe I AM sexually repressed in that there is some strange, unspoken fetish of mine that hasn’t been realized?
But again, I didn’t feel that response, either.
Then it hit me!
Being a creative thinker, my mind is what defines me! It is my mind! I have been stuck inside my head for the last two years as I’ve recovered. Though – while I’ve been stuck in my head – nothing creative has trickled out.
But what does that have to do with a climax-free orgy?
I wasn’t sure, so I did what we all do; Google. The interpretations were all “you’re sexually repressed, dummy” but it seemed like an effortless answer – the same flimsy conclusion I’d jumped to – and it lacked validity, plus the shoddy, 90s style websites I read it from furthered my distrust of their “expertise.”
I dusted off a few books and after an hour or so I found what I was looking for.
An orgy can symbolize the REPRESSION OF CREATIVE ENERGIES!
For the last two years, my creativity has been stifled by unforeseen circumstances and it has been devastating, to say the least. I’ve felt like I had lost a piece of me when I couldn’t write, read, draw or create music. Slowly, it’s coming back, but – admittedly – I’ve been hesitant because it’s been so long that I couldn’t coherently express myself that I fear failure (not to mention I’ve been grotesquely vulnerable with what I have wrote, and it’s slightly embarrassing).
My dream was telling me that I’m creatively repressed and have been so my entire life.
Which is (mostly) true.
Even my “friends” haven’t seen the true, artistic me because I’ve held back in fear of ridicule, failure and fear of being seen as weird.
For over thirty-years I’ve been missing out on nightly insights like this!